Skip to main content

Holding tight

I wrote so much about you but I'd rather keep it to myself, in the notes where they are safely contained. Because not all feelings are meant to be spilled. But I do genuinely want to remember all the memories that we cherish.

I look back and see how effortlessly happy we were. Who would've knew that the price of happiness that I had to pay, is going to be so costly.

You haven't do anything wrong, in fact, i don't have even the tiniest speck of regret.  We shared our dreams, the smallest and bigest of them, our passion, our problems, likes and dislikes, like best friends would.

My only wish is to see you happy and healthy again. Even if it means you wouldn't be able to remember.

I never give on this friendship. I will be around, asking for your condition, visiting you while I can, praying for your health in every last sujud of mine, before I break fast, in my solat hajat, when I text our friends, I didn't waste any chance that I get. In my prayers, you are as close as you can be. So close I could almost see you sometimes :)

I would cry occasionally only when I've been holding on for so long, but I knew you wouldn't want me to be weak all the time. We have our moments, but we gather our strength afterwards. You taught me so much and I still yet have a lot to learn from you.

Please get better so that we can push each other towards our dreams and goals.  I still need you here, will be here for you as long as you wanted me to.

Love you.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Memory

You know I always take pride in how good my memory works. I can remember details, information, and able to retain & recall them whenever it is needed. I remember small minute detail of a person, what she/he likes or dislike, what they're allergic of, preferences, pet peeves, depending how close they are to me. I remember event and incidents that occurs, I remember the things people say, sometimes the wording they use, I remember the places and memories it carries-the people I go with, the purpose of going, and sometimes the exact dates if not month of the year. I remember random facts about thingsi studied in my degree despite not dealing with the subjects on daily basis. I remember very vividly the memories of people despite how random and sometimes insignificant it seems. No matter how useful a good memory does sound, Sometimes, secretly, I resent it. I resent that how memories are only pieces of you that you're meant to keep. Just because you remember the specific event ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The ocean

We could've been the ocean Where the limits is not found The potentials, possibilities of what could have become But you chose the land The security, the certainty and safety that it offers You chose what is easy And that's okay Me and difficulties came as part in parcel As much as I can give you Or that I tried or willing to try to There are parts of me that isn't gonna be easy I probably can't give you peace And that's okay Maybe it's not that much of a fall It's the imagery of you that stuck And how it takes the shape and the idea of you But I'm beginning to understand now, or at least as of this current moment There are something to be blamed but not everything I hold no grudge nor that I bear any ill wishes I just prefer not to see the sight of you At least not until I let go that image of you And the thought of what we could have become And I free myself from this attachment and idea You chose the logic, the safer route And I will embark on a diffe...
Post a Comment
Read more

The very defining moment

26th of June When we got into a little misunderstanding and you go to sleep upset and I went about my days pretending like nothing happened when in reality i was just as affected I think over the time i became quite good at pretending putting on smiles and working, as if it was all normal when the truth I keep on dropping things, i was all over the place I am CLEARLY not in a great mood and later that night you called me up and asked if I had my dinner already and all you said "bawak tupperware. Saya kat luar" Imagine the kind of shock I had When you are upset but still decides to go above and beyond for me I'm not sure what do I have in me but I just got lucky 27th June Another misunderstanding (lol) and this time you dropped by again late at night we drive and we talk I talk and talk endlessly We smiled and laugh (and in my heart i knew, I want this forever) I want to be next to you when I'm sad when i feel hopeless or just full of moodiness and I just wanna be sad ...
Post a Comment
Read more