The very defining moment

26th of June

When we got into a little misunderstanding and you go to sleep upset

and I went about my days pretending like nothing happened

when in reality i was just as affected

I think over the time i became quite good at pretending

putting on smiles and working, as if it was all normal

when the truth

I keep on dropping things, i was all over the place

I am CLEARLY not in a great mood

and later that night

you called me up and asked if I had my dinner already

and all you said

"bawak tupperware. Saya kat luar"

Imagine the kind of shock I had

When you are upset but still decides to go above and beyond for me

I'm not sure what do I have in me

but I just got lucky

27th June

Another misunderstanding (lol) and this time you dropped by again

late at night

we drive and we talk

I talk and talk endlessly

We smiled and laugh

(and in my heart i knew, I want this forever)

I want to be next to you when I'm sad

when i feel hopeless or just full of moodiness and I just wanna be sad and down

There you are

You made us talk about future and exciting things

and I thought to myself

'Hey this wasnt as bad, isnt it?'

Comments

Memory

You know I always take pride in how good my memory works. I can remember details, information, and able to retain & recall them whenever it is needed. I remember small minute detail of a person, what she/he likes or dislike, what they're allergic of, preferences, pet peeves, depending how close they are to me. I remember event and incidents that occurs, I remember the things people say, sometimes the wording they use, I remember the places and memories it carries-the people I go with, the purpose of going, and sometimes the exact dates if not month of the year. I remember random facts about thingsi studied in my degree despite not dealing with the subjects on daily basis. I remember very vividly the memories of people despite how random and sometimes insignificant it seems. No matter how useful a good memory does sound, Sometimes, secretly, I resent it. I resent that how memories are only pieces of you that you're meant to keep. Just because you remember the specific event ...

The ocean

We could've been the ocean Where the limits is not found The potentials, possibilities of what could have become But you chose the land The security, the certainty and safety that it offers You chose what is easy And that's okay Me and difficulties came as part in parcel As much as I can give you Or that I tried or willing to try to There are parts of me that isn't gonna be easy I probably can't give you peace And that's okay Maybe it's not that much of a fall It's the imagery of you that stuck And how it takes the shape and the idea of you But I'm beginning to understand now, or at least as of this current moment There are something to be blamed but not everything I hold no grudge nor that I bear any ill wishes I just prefer not to see the sight of you At least not until I let go that image of you And the thought of what we could have become And I free myself from this attachment and idea You chose the logic, the safer route And I will embark on a diffe...

It's Chatterbox's Blog

Search This Blog