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Just a quick rant

 Today I had lunch with my boss, it went well, and I might dropped some bomb that's probably shocking to her.. Don't worry, the 'bomb' was rather a happy bomb.

I just wanna quickly write down here, 

I am so grateful to 2020 me, for having the guts to walk away

Knowing how unhappy I am, despite after so many curhat session, everyone was asking me what went wrong, the days and nights I spent crying, so very afraid that I make a fool of myself if I quit.

I got the offer to a temporary position and quickly hop in without much thought

I am happy, my parents are far happier, now that I'm closer to them. I got the time to really finally be with my family, becoming a constant presence, not just someone that only be home for the weekend once a month. It was fun, it was full of joy. My head is light, my problems are tiny.

Those were the two months that I felt most 'alive'. I had time to do puzzles, to catch the breeze on my face in the evening, to socialize with people at night, 

But as the job says temporary, the happy period eventually cease to end.

But Alhamdulillah I was offered another job, in less than a month.

I had no idea what that job (my current one) has to offer, and despite having another offer similar to my temporary position, I stick to it.

It was a gutsy decision but it felt like a flip of a switch.

I finally get to be with the people who see me as I am, understand my quirkiness, who willing to cover for my mistakes and be together as a team. 

Thank you Allah for the kindness You bestowed upon me, and I pray that I will always try to present my best and never took this opportunity for granted

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