Crush

Maybe that's where the term crush came about.

"I like you a lot but I am too afraid of rejection it'll crush me"

The best part of having a friend of polar opposite is, they push you into doing things I'll NEVER have the guts to do. 

So there's Sharah hijacking my phone saying things to him I'll NEVER, not in a million years thought of saying. And the Emojis...the amount of emojis that she used...and the nerves... Don't even get me started..

But I guess that's what friends are for. To make you do things you'll forever chickened away to do. Or at least in my case, pretending to be me and saying all that things that made my anxiety went over the roof. 

So far the response has been pretty positive. Thank GOD. WHAT AN EMBRACEMENT IS HAS BEEN. Throwing myself at people with hope that he'll reciprocate? That is not the Sofwah that I know. So not me. Definitely not me.

Why am I so scared? So uptight and so straightforward?

I just feel like deep down inside 

I'm not lovable material

I mean, who would be liking me?

I am overweight, fat, loud and blunt. I live without filter and I tend to be the know-it-alls. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE myself, I am genuinely content with me, my weakness and all, I mean I love me. But I didn't know if I'll be in love with me.

And you? You are this amazingly kind, mature, smart, good-looking, annoying person and I truly wonder how are you not taken yet. I mean, I've known you for years, but how am I just notice all these? 

Wish me luck. I feel like I'm too old to be doing this. 

Oh whatever

Here goes nothing