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PAMA

I feel like writing here because idk i just feel like to. This is a public but quiet private space that only people who was curious about what's in your head, will took their time reading your posts on your blog.

I kinda notice because it's happening to me too. I got excited reading my friends' blog updates because it's like a closer insight to what really happening in their life (esp the friends who were far from physical sight tetapi dekat di hati cewahh).

PAMA.
Nope. This isnt the entry where i share about some maggie brands or anything related to maggie stuffs.

this is about me sharing my campus survival without getting any loan/scholarship for my undergraduate study.

Apparently i didnt not have an impressive result for my foundation level sebab entahlah zaman asasi tak termotivasi sangat nak belajar maka tanggunglah hakikat ketidaklayakan memohon biasasiswa sebab tak lepas 3.5. (sebenarnya taklah jauh sangat dari 3.5 tapi dah semua yg apply semua 4flat, am i even stand a chance?)

Mak ayah pulak risau hakikat anaknya akan tanggung hutang yg besar lepas tamat belajar, jadi mereka sanggup tanggung pengajian anak
mereka yg pelbagai karenah ni.

basically my mode of survival
1. cut off kebanyakan barang2 dapur (minuman 3in1)
2. Shopping barang toileteries sebulan sekali or less
3. Takde barang2 baru (baju, seluar, ect) unless dapat duit2 tambahan

tapi aku rasa bersyukur sangat sebab tak pernah lah rasa terhimpit sangat2. Walaupun kadang2 takde duit nak makan tapi aku rasa takde masalah sbb mak tak pernah marah kalau mintak duit sebab nak makan. Yela mak mana sanggup dengar anak dia tak makan kan.

Honestly, perkara ni buatkan semangat nak belajar tu lebih, knowing that i have so much to return to my parent, i have big shoes to fill (one of the reason you might wonder why i make so big deal kalau pointer tak lepas target). Jadinya kalau rasa malas pun nak belajar, saya ada sebab yg kuat untuk lawan rasa malas tu.

Alhamdulillah entah macam mana somehow i passed my targetted pointer utk sem lepas which i considered as miracle (ada macam-macam benda yg jadi waktu nak exam which make me tak berharap sangat. Saya anggap ni ganjaran sebab niat nak tolong orang. I didnt found any other logical reason mcm mana pointer naik, serious talk)

doakanlah diluaskan rezeki lagi ye.

Sebenarnya saya tulis post ni sebab nak muhasabah balik ada terlalu banyak sangat benda yg saya kene syukuri. Terlalu banyak. Penat hidup dgn dihantui perasaan ketidakcukupan. Yelah, bila tngok apa yg orang ada, kite takde. Biasalah nama nya manusia.

tapi walau apapun bila ingat balik ramai sangat yg hidup lagi susah dari kita. Banyak dah dgr cerita ada yang hampir2 tolak tawaran U sebab tak mmpu nak tanggung kos pembelajaran. Ada yg makan roti je hari2. Ramai yg kerja part time, lagi2 mcam kat UM ni sebab kos sara hidup kat KL ni sangat2 tinggi. Ada yang susah sampai tak makan, dan macam2 lagi yang kite sendiri tak tahu.

Post ni nak sedarkan diri sendiri apa yg saya ada dan apa yg saya patut insaf dan syukuri.

Saya bersyukur walaupun tak mewah tapi Alhamdulillah serba serbi cukup. Lagipun Allah dah janji kan kalau kita bersyukur nescaya Allah akan tambahkan lebih lagi dari apa yg kita ada.

Pesanan akhir untuk diri dan semua:
"tanda syukur itu lah taat,
Setiap tempat setiap waktu"

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