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Saya merayu.

My first post in 2013. living in this uni life, even new semester is more significant that the counting year. When we were in school, a new year is such a significant as it is the sign that the holiday was about to over. we will learn something new on this year. but here, new year is nothing but like the other day that passed.

I am 20, or about to be (well, 21st actually, according to my hijri birthday). the phrase teenagers might not suits me anymore (?) Growing up does suck, the sudden responsiblities suddenly came over and piled up on your shoulder, without you even know, and suddenly there it is! (ninja maybe. haha)

but the best part is, you started to understand.

you started to see.

and you started to think for the sake of your own goodness.

All those things that happen back in those days made you learn more than anything else. and how you appreciate those moments, even the bitter one, cause it taught you, lots more than the best teacher on the planet would.

these few days I had a tough fight with the inner side of me [well, actually it happens every week, but there some issues arise lately, making it lots more difficult]

it's just so hard to control your heart. Even how many time you tried to console it down, to let it back to the normal (homeostatis mechanism?) using your justification, logics, self-scolding, and lots more method but it didnt work! not even touched!

and then I've forgotten, that the heart was actually the least thing that I can control of. it can't be forced and never will be.

Hati itu Allah yg pegang.dan kalau anda rasa tak boleh/sangat susah nak control perasanan anda, sila refer semula kepada pemilik tuan punya yg sebenar.

I just realized how pathetic I am. mengharapkan cinta manusia before Allah's

tak cukup lagi ke, susahnya hidup sbb masih lagi tak mampu untuk betul2 jatuh cinta dengan Allah? Walaupun selepas kebaikan demi kebaikan, keajaiban demi keajaiban, yg Allah bagi dan tunjuk pada KAMU SENDIRI?!

kemudian nak menambahkan sengsara dgn mengharapkan cinta manusia pula?

lainla kalau cintakan manusia tu boleh tambahkan cinta kepada Allah.

Allah :'(

dah jatuh ditimpa escalator.

betapa jauhnya hati ini dengan Allah.

Sofwah dah nak 20, hari2 yg lalu banyak dihabiskan dgn pencarian. pergi sana pergi sini. mencari identiti sendiri. dan sebenarnya masih lagi tercari2.

banyak hari yg terbazir kerana tenggelam dalam pencarian. sedangkan Allah itu lebih dari dekat
** [2:186], [50:16]

walaupun dah tahu Allah itu lebih dari dekat, masih tak mampu nak establish rasa cinta pada Allah. :'(

masaku semakin hari semakin pendek.umurku semakin meningkat. alangkah ruginya hidupku kalau dihabiskan tanpa sempat menikmati cinta Allah itu.

tolong, ajarkan saya macam mana nak mencintai Allah? *saya merayu sepenuh hati

:'(

Comments

Anonymous said…
banyakkan istighfar :)
January 10, 2013 at 9:39 AM
Unknown said…
yup ! it's hard to be a good One .. but a least we've tried .. =)
January 10, 2013 at 5:08 PM
Anonymous said…
mulut mmg senang nk ungkapkan cinta tp belum tentu hati sepenuhnya cinta pd Allah,buktinya tengok la amalan seharian adakah ape yg kite buat Allah redha?
dear sis,
nak mencintai tu satu proses,for me kite kena banyak refleksi diri dengan segala kurniaan yg Allah bg tak terhenti hingga ke saat ni kita masih boleh bernafas sedangkan kite terus-terusan membuat dosa sudah cukup untuk membuat kita rasa malu jika tak mencintainya.seringkali untuk saya membina rasa cinta pd Allah ni saya akan membayangkan kasih sayang seorang ibu terhadap anknya which is an unconditional love itu pun tak setanding kasih syg Allah.tadabbur surah as-syuara sis,anda akan rasa betapa sangat rugi jika kita tak mencintaiNya.
January 10, 2013 at 5:56 PM
Anonymous said…
asif,surah as-syura,surah ke 42 yg ana mksudkn bukan as-syuara.tp sebenarnya semua ayat AQ adalah ayat cintanya,depends kepada hati kita menanggaapi setiap ayat cinta itu :)
maaf lebih selesa utk jd anonymous sbb dlm memberi nasihat,diri pun serba kekurangan jugak.all the best sis dalam perjuangan cinta ini!
January 11, 2013 at 7:38 PM
Anonymous said…
Secara teorinya kita boleh cakap untuk meraih cinta Allah, baca Al-Quran, berzikir tapi sebenarna ia bukan mudah. Usaha secara berterusan. Dan pohonlah banyak pada-Nya supaya dikurniakan cinta-Nya.

Mungkin aplikasi yang nampak mudah namun sukar, berbuat baiklah kepada semua manusia, sama ada dia itu datang dari pelbagai fikrah dan latar belakang yang berbeza. Mintalah pada Allah cinta-nya, dan berilah pada manusia cinta (kebaikan)

Mencari makna hidup dengan memberi.
January 14, 2013 at 2:04 AM
Anonymous said…
Kuatkan semangat ! Jangan mudah mengalah dengan perasaan.Biarkan perasaan tu fly fly awayy.Tinggalkan cinta manusia sebab cinta Allah tu lebih awla kan :)
January 19, 2013 at 1:57 PM
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